After more than seven years of trial and error with different medications, my depression is finally properly diagnosed and under control.  I now take a complicated mix of medications but they work.

I became exhausted when depressed, seemed to lose my sense of perspective and, of course, suffered from low self esteem.  Depressive illness cost me my marriage of almost thirty years and one of my children still does not understand.

Although still grieving my losses, I am deeply grateful for the remission of my symptoms and I am gradually rebuilding my life, At the same time, I very much want to help others persevere through the trial and error period of medications, and to not feel so alone in their struggle.

My other goal is to work toward better insurance coverage of psychiatric treatment.  In my case of extended need, my insurance covered only 50% of the cost, making it financially devastating as well.  Thank you for the excellent newsletter. I appreciate the updates on medication you give, as well as the stories of others."
CC in WA
 

I am not sure when I was diagnosed with depression. It has been so long and my memory isn't great (a sign of my depression- I hope). I think it's been six or seven years.

I first went to a psychologist who referred me to a psychiatrist who prescribed medication.  We, the therapist and I, never really did much therapy.  It didn't work and that was the extent of my treatment with him.

Then I went to the local Family Counseling Center where my counselor tried to connect me with my "inner child" and things of that nature, but to no avail - she suggested I see someone else.  In the meantime, I went to my family doctor to rule out any possible other physical causes - there were none.

For a while I was on my own - holding  full and part time jobs, going to school and staying involved with hobbies that once brought me pleasure. Everyone was surprised and proud that I wasn't letting this "monster" consume me.  But it was, everything I was doing was just filling time, I was just going through the motions.  The hopelessness and helplessness remained.

I finally started to see another psychiatrist whom I felt would really help me.  We tried many antidepressants but none of the did the trick.  He suggested ECT.  I was apprehensive but I knew how bad I felt, so I did it.  That didn't work either. I stayed with my busy schedule but still I enjoyed nothing.

Anyway, I am still very depressed - but I refuse to submit to such a terrible illness. I consider myself very fortunate but I still can't seem to enjoy my good fortunes. Any information or help would be greatly appreciated.
WB in NA

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